When You Want To Scream: How To Recover From Your Spouse’s Betrayal

Today is a day that might not have been if it weren’t for an honest conversation several years ago.

Your righteousness, O God, reaches to the highest heavens.
You have done such wonderful things.
Who can compare with you, O God?
You have allowed me to suffer much hardship,
but you will restore me to life again
and lift me up from the depths of the earth.
You will restore me to even greater honor
and comfort me once again. Psalm 71:19–21

Betrayal, in any form deeply wounds your heart, spirit, and soul.

You don’t want to believe the words.
Ignoring the signs, you excuse behavior you know in your gut is abnormal.

If you can relate, I’m sorry.

No one deserves betrayal; yet everyone faces it during a lifetime.

Betrayal comes in many forms.

  • A friend who ghosts you because you dared to confront their behavior
  • An adult child who disowns you
  • Your spouse’s adultery
  • Habitual lying
  • Pornography, drug, or alcohol addiction
  • Secret bank accounts or financial dishonesty
  • You aren’t chosen
  • God doesn’t meet your expectations
  • Your spouse’s hobby or job becomes their spouse

Each spouse’s betrayal destroys trust. Relationships sever; some never recover.

But, there is hope.

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

We both caused tremendous pain in our relationship.

Which is why today is a momentous day. Today is our wedding anniversary.

In a recent conversation, we candidly discuss the impact of a spouse’s betrayal and why we celebrate the restoration and rebirth of our marriage. [11:52 minutes]

So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death. Romans 8:1–2

If you feel betrayed, or suspect something isn’t quite right in your relationship — your gut knows something you don’t want to admit — click here to get the free ebook, 10 Warning Signs Your Gut Already Knows.

Your spouse’s betrayal doesn’t have to destroy your marriage.

Photo by Gus Moretta on Unsplash

For those of you hurt in your marriage, we’re sorry. It stinks. No one, certainly not us, will gloss over that fact. But there is a way to overcome. And experience a better life. I’d love to walk with you through your recovery. There is hope.

You can choose denial or choose to overcome.



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Kirsten D. Samuel

Coach and writer who helps women overcome and use their stories to change the world.